Ever seen a 5th grader make a new best friend?
It’s instant.
No awkward small talk, no rehearsed icebreakers—just a shared love of Minecraft, a well-timed joke, and boom. Besties.
Meanwhile, adults overthink networking like they’re planning a lunar landing. We stress over saying the right thing, worry about looking weird, and stalk LinkedIn like Kash Patel has us on an FBI watchlist.
And it’s ruining out fundraising rizz.
Here's a free fundraising Lesson: Be a Human, Not a Sales Pitch
The best fundraisers build real relationships, not just transactional “asks.” You’re not schmoozing for dollars—you’re inviting people to be part of something awesome.
Lead with curiosity, not a canned pitch.
Look, I hate to break it to you, but Miss Cleo was NOT a psychic. You could call her for a free reading, but everyone who got her answering machine and personalized message…got the same message. And it wasn’t better after paying her $4.99 an hour. Not that I would know, and I definitely didn’t get in trouble from my parents from racking up a giant bill on trying to figure out what was going to be on my upcoming science test by talking to the spirit world. No. But, like those in the psychic industry – kids are naturally curious and ask excellent – and sometimes really simple – questions to see if there is a similar interest to build a best friendship on. We should do more of that. And you don’t need to read off a script to do it.
Find common ground – on anything.
My boys have a short list of video games they will instantly bond with another human over. My daughter will latch on to any child who says the phrase “I like dancing.” We adults are complicating the types of things we can connect with other people that doesn’t involve some sort of check or purchasing a ticket to an event. That sort of transaction is secondary to being aligned with or interested in some aspect of your mission.
Follow up without asking for money every time.
Did you know that it is entirely possible to have a conversation with a donor or supporter that doesn’t include soliciting them for something? It’s true. You, as a fundraiser can actually enjoy talking to someone and getting to know them as a person. I know, I know….your board is not gonna like that you can enjoy the company of influential people in your community without some sort of fundraising game plan, but they’ll be incredibly impressed when that human you’ve taken an authentic liking to, opens the doors to their network of other awesome people that take your fundraising to new heights. (And when’s the last time THEY did that huh!??! )
A 5th grader doesn’t need a spreadsheet, a donor record or to stalk people on social media to make a new friend.
They just show up, introduce themselves, and start playing.
Fundraising should feel the same.
Now be nice. You got this.
-Patrick
PS: Only 23 More Sleeps until FUNDRAISE LIKE A 5TH GRADER IS RELEASED!!! AAAAAHHHHHH!!! Want to get early access!?!? Let me know!!!
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